One lazy Sunday afternoon... in the back yard slip and sliding with my children. (12 yr old - 3yr old and 15 month old) We have the baby in the pool, one eating a burger that mommy was grillin up.. one giggling down the slip n slide....
When suddenly we hear a " I hope you aren't wearing that bikini" "you and your "X rated yard in our "G" rated neighborhood... I glanced over to see the scrappy lady that lives diagonally behind me that has a few charlie brown trees , trash cans , and some homemade steps they call a deck.. This woman has been terrorizing our neighborhood for 6 yrs now. Her children actually hit golf balls at peoples house, hit other with baseball bats, and coincidentally "it's everyone else's fault".
I often wonder why she is looking out her window so far to the right? Could it be that her children are grown... and she still stays at home doing nothing all day? DUH! Of course she hates the DD hot tub neighbor.
So after taking 6 yrs of bullying from Mrs. Scrappy T Scrappersens.... I promptly yelled out " I pay for this house and live in the USA! It is my god given right to wear a bikini in my back yard! Get a life and stop checkin me out! So that went on for quite awhile....
What did I do? Called the police station to ask about noise ordinance laws... the dispatcher laughed and said "Oh hon... go ahead and have a bikini party...I'm sure the police would love to come over and check that one out" So I gathered my 25 yr old Cheerleader neighbor... a blow up bounce house water slide.. tons of loud children.. and had a bikini party till midnight! OH YES! good times.......
Ha HAAAA! ( yes that's an evil .. HA HAAA) Guess what ... there has been no sightings of MRS SCRAPPY T SCRAPERSEN ever since then. She just keeps her head down ... right where it belongs.
MORAL OF STORY: If your life sucks... it's not my fault. Now my Desperate Housewife DD's are now named "the riot rack".......
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