If there was a something that existed called "The Love Switch".... all of heartache could be resolved.
I truly believe our hearts ache when we love someone we shouldnt love or dont love someone that we should. When someone cheats on you or breaks up with you, the hurt is so deep because your heart still loves them. If you had a switch to shut that off then it would be easy to go on with your life.
Unfortunately in the real world.... this does not exist. We go on loving people that do not give us the love that we know we deserve. Our brians have moved on....yet our hearts have not. Your brain can often lie to your heart and you might think "your over it"... until a few glasses of wine and you start "bottom lip- out of control- crying" .... oh yes... we've all been there.
You can also have the issue of ... I know this person loves me and is perfect for me ...but I do not love them. In this case the "love switch" would also be great! Unfortunatly again.... does not exist. The best thing to do in this case... eventhough this person makes you feel good about yourself... if you do not love them back... don't be a "me monster"... you have to break up and stop talking to them before you cause a world of hurt.
I truly believe that if you have ever truly loved someone that you will love and care for them until the day that you die. This is why you can not maintain a friendship with someone you love. You are asking for a world full of hurt. So until someone creates "the love switch".... get a diversion to help shut off the pain of loving someone you shouldn't....and set up a diversion to the person that loves you but you don't love back.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
"Nanny Envy"?
On one hot, summer, Wednesday morning... I went for a jog around the neighborhood. I was passing a young nanny that had been working a few doors away for quite some time. I figured.."hmm with my new found singleness....I will have to exercise..shop.. and socialize... why not add this girl to the list of sitters".
She came to babysit after she got off her shift from the house down the street. She seemed a little nervous. I asked her about it. Apparently the obsessive woman she worked for asked 1,000 questions before she came over...and was worried I was trying to steal her away and basically forbid her from outside activities... I said "relax.. my kids are day care babies" ... (it was just for here and there) .... Well apparently in Stalky stalkersens culture... once people are employed by you... you apparently own them. Well I think this is BS!
She not only continued to tell her Nanny she was not allowed to babysit.... but the next day.. while I was waiting at the bus stop.. She walked out of her house... right to the front of mine.. to go through my trash and then give my house a mean stare down... WTF!!!!!!! For real... now I might not understand this culture thing... but I made sure I showed her how we roll in the USA.
#1) People do not own people here --- pretty sure we've been "over it" since the civil war...
#2) I sent my children running down the street in their bathing suits with candy in one hand... sparklers in the other.. singing "its a party in the USA"...
Not only did the Nanny wish she really was working for me... but now I am going to invite her to every Hot Tub party I have and give her a "nanny gig" weekly.
Moral of this story: IT INDEED is a party in the USA. Everyday is independence day in my home. We are a bathing suit wearing, nanny stealin, hot tub partyin kinda family....and if you don't like it... go back were ya came from Stalky Mcstalkers !!!!!!!
She came to babysit after she got off her shift from the house down the street. She seemed a little nervous. I asked her about it. Apparently the obsessive woman she worked for asked 1,000 questions before she came over...and was worried I was trying to steal her away and basically forbid her from outside activities... I said "relax.. my kids are day care babies" ... (it was just for here and there) .... Well apparently in Stalky stalkersens culture... once people are employed by you... you apparently own them. Well I think this is BS!
She not only continued to tell her Nanny she was not allowed to babysit.... but the next day.. while I was waiting at the bus stop.. She walked out of her house... right to the front of mine.. to go through my trash and then give my house a mean stare down... WTF!!!!!!! For real... now I might not understand this culture thing... but I made sure I showed her how we roll in the USA.
#1) People do not own people here --- pretty sure we've been "over it" since the civil war...
#2) I sent my children running down the street in their bathing suits with candy in one hand... sparklers in the other.. singing "its a party in the USA"...
Not only did the Nanny wish she really was working for me... but now I am going to invite her to every Hot Tub party I have and give her a "nanny gig" weekly.
Moral of this story: IT INDEED is a party in the USA. Everyday is independence day in my home. We are a bathing suit wearing, nanny stealin, hot tub partyin kinda family....and if you don't like it... go back were ya came from Stalky Mcstalkers !!!!!!!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
The "Me Monster" in your life
Ok... You know we all have them. Definition of a me monster " A person who constantly thinks of people as "objects that can benefit them"; a person can not empathize or care for another person (they can certainly pretend to if they feel it will give them personal gain) ; One who always has "ME ME ME" on the brain.
Question #1) How is a "Me Monster" created
Answer-- A pinch of nature... but the main ingredient is a life of "not ever lifting a finger". Similar be raised by a pack of wolves.... this monster has been abused by a parent (or both) that did what I call "silent co-dependent child abuse" . This is defined by a parent who wants nothing more than to feel "needed" therefore crippling their child and never teaching them how to be independent. These Parents also tend to have the "could do nothing wrong enabler habit".
Question #2) How to identify a "Me Monster"
Answer-- They are terrible listeners (example -- phone conversation when you ask "what should I do" and they say "yeaaahh"... because they are playing fantasy football at work .... and everyone knows... that certainly takes precedence over any personal crisis you might have. They throw "fits" like 8 yr olds would when they have to put in a little hard work. They get defensive about everything because they are incapable of caring about others feelings.
Question #3) What happens when you invite a "Me Monster" into your home?
Answer-- Well ....ughhh... very similar to a vampire, they suck the life out of you... drive a train through your life... and pretty soon --- it is YOU who is now a zombie and unrecognizable...
Question #4) How to get rid of the "Me Monster in your life"
Answer-- Gather a group of friends to give you multiple shots of whiskey... have them smack you in the face ... and say "Where did you go"? "Are you still in there somewhere"... This will give you the strength and adrenaline to lift a car! (but you don't have to do that) What you have to do is... promptly collect all belongings... kindly move them back to the "Me Monsters" creator's home. (While they are away at work) ..Change the locks at home and stay at a friends. Leave a note on the belongings... "Sold the house... moved to Wabush to live with penguins... and make ice sculptures. Thought you would be happier here so you can have those "perfect lunches" and "no bills to pay" anymore.... PEACE!
Question #1) How is a "Me Monster" created
Answer-- A pinch of nature... but the main ingredient is a life of "not ever lifting a finger". Similar be raised by a pack of wolves.... this monster has been abused by a parent (or both) that did what I call "silent co-dependent child abuse" . This is defined by a parent who wants nothing more than to feel "needed" therefore crippling their child and never teaching them how to be independent. These Parents also tend to have the "could do nothing wrong enabler habit".
Question #2) How to identify a "Me Monster"
Answer-- They are terrible listeners (example -- phone conversation when you ask "what should I do" and they say "yeaaahh"... because they are playing fantasy football at work .... and everyone knows... that certainly takes precedence over any personal crisis you might have. They throw "fits" like 8 yr olds would when they have to put in a little hard work. They get defensive about everything because they are incapable of caring about others feelings.
Question #3) What happens when you invite a "Me Monster" into your home?
Answer-- Well ....ughhh... very similar to a vampire, they suck the life out of you... drive a train through your life... and pretty soon --- it is YOU who is now a zombie and unrecognizable...
Question #4) How to get rid of the "Me Monster in your life"
Answer-- Gather a group of friends to give you multiple shots of whiskey... have them smack you in the face ... and say "Where did you go"? "Are you still in there somewhere"... This will give you the strength and adrenaline to lift a car! (but you don't have to do that) What you have to do is... promptly collect all belongings... kindly move them back to the "Me Monsters" creator's home. (While they are away at work) ..Change the locks at home and stay at a friends. Leave a note on the belongings... "Sold the house... moved to Wabush to live with penguins... and make ice sculptures. Thought you would be happier here so you can have those "perfect lunches" and "no bills to pay" anymore.... PEACE!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Diversions... a good thing?
When you are exiting a relationship with a ....well ... hmmm ... how to put this nicely...a person who has missed a few well needed therapy sessions. ("The crazy certainly have a way of turning the "uncrazy" crazy!) Is it a good thing to get some well needed attention from the opposite sex?
Well... I say yes. (but only if your not like me... I could fall in love with a squirrel) When mom says.. anyone would be lucky to have you. Its not exactly the same as someone saying "I love the way you drink through a straw"... ummm well ok, my diversion was kinda awkward.. but you catch the drift.
I guess there has to be some ground rules:
1) Do not fall in love with this person. ( no one wants 2 back to back broken hearts)
2) Do not wait for their phone call.
3) Do not let this person change or inhibit in anyway who you are
4) Do not give him the milk because we know ahead of time he is not buying the cow!!! (I know everyone thinks they can have sex with out it getting complicated...but its a BIG GIANT LIE)
I believe this strategy is healthy for a number of reasons. It truly gets your mind off the past. It is positive attention from the opposite sex (and it just feels better than grandma saying it) It can actually help you be more confident and attractive for your next real relationship by bringing your confidence back. Once things start to get complicated or drama goes down.... you know they have served there purpose.... you are over your ex --- and now its time for you to be alone .... to find your inner DIVA.
(Oh yeah and by you being a confident, successful, sexy super diva.... you will drive your ex to call you again and want you back but you can restore your right of saying "No thanks... I'd rather chew off my left arm)
PS- I did find the recipe to shrink a heart... testosterone... jk guys
Well... I say yes. (but only if your not like me... I could fall in love with a squirrel) When mom says.. anyone would be lucky to have you. Its not exactly the same as someone saying "I love the way you drink through a straw"... ummm well ok, my diversion was kinda awkward.. but you catch the drift.
I guess there has to be some ground rules:
1) Do not fall in love with this person. ( no one wants 2 back to back broken hearts)
2) Do not wait for their phone call.
3) Do not let this person change or inhibit in anyway who you are
4) Do not give him the milk because we know ahead of time he is not buying the cow!!! (I know everyone thinks they can have sex with out it getting complicated...but its a BIG GIANT LIE)
I believe this strategy is healthy for a number of reasons. It truly gets your mind off the past. It is positive attention from the opposite sex (and it just feels better than grandma saying it) It can actually help you be more confident and attractive for your next real relationship by bringing your confidence back. Once things start to get complicated or drama goes down.... you know they have served there purpose.... you are over your ex --- and now its time for you to be alone .... to find your inner DIVA.
(Oh yeah and by you being a confident, successful, sexy super diva.... you will drive your ex to call you again and want you back but you can restore your right of saying "No thanks... I'd rather chew off my left arm)
PS- I did find the recipe to shrink a heart... testosterone... jk guys
If you are born an addict ... do you die an addict
Ok... you caught me... I do think about it .. I think about it everyday of my life. (not exactly in the "why me" kind of way) more so the... "why them" kind of way.
Are we born addicted to ourselves? Why do some people live to make themselves feel good ... and the other half of us seem to live to make others feel good.
Is an addict addicted to the drug ... or addicted to putting themselves first. I mean really... have you ever met a "giving" addict.. I have not.
I have to admit... the whole... "I'm a changed person" ... oh tear...although it is getting quite old.. my heart opens up .. grows a little more and wants to believe in miracles... only to find my heart broken and thrashed with 1,765 more stab wounds than the original amount.
Are people like me addicted to people like them? Is there a way to shrink your heart? If there is... please let me know and give me the recipe ASAP!
http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t91660/
Are we born addicted to ourselves? Why do some people live to make themselves feel good ... and the other half of us seem to live to make others feel good.
Is an addict addicted to the drug ... or addicted to putting themselves first. I mean really... have you ever met a "giving" addict.. I have not.
I have to admit... the whole... "I'm a changed person" ... oh tear...although it is getting quite old.. my heart opens up .. grows a little more and wants to believe in miracles... only to find my heart broken and thrashed with 1,765 more stab wounds than the original amount.
Are people like me addicted to people like them? Is there a way to shrink your heart? If there is... please let me know and give me the recipe ASAP!
http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t91660/
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Anti Bikini Drama Mamma
One lazy Sunday afternoon... in the back yard slip and sliding with my children. (12 yr old - 3yr old and 15 month old) We have the baby in the pool, one eating a burger that mommy was grillin up.. one giggling down the slip n slide....
When suddenly we hear a " I hope you aren't wearing that bikini" "you and your "X rated yard in our "G" rated neighborhood... I glanced over to see the scrappy lady that lives diagonally behind me that has a few charlie brown trees , trash cans , and some homemade steps they call a deck.. This woman has been terrorizing our neighborhood for 6 yrs now. Her children actually hit golf balls at peoples house, hit other with baseball bats, and coincidentally "it's everyone else's fault".
I often wonder why she is looking out her window so far to the right? Could it be that her children are grown... and she still stays at home doing nothing all day? DUH! Of course she hates the DD hot tub neighbor.
So after taking 6 yrs of bullying from Mrs. Scrappy T Scrappersens.... I promptly yelled out " I pay for this house and live in the USA! It is my god given right to wear a bikini in my back yard! Get a life and stop checkin me out! So that went on for quite awhile....
What did I do? Called the police station to ask about noise ordinance laws... the dispatcher laughed and said "Oh hon... go ahead and have a bikini party...I'm sure the police would love to come over and check that one out" So I gathered my 25 yr old Cheerleader neighbor... a blow up bounce house water slide.. tons of loud children.. and had a bikini party till midnight! OH YES! good times.......
Ha HAAAA! ( yes that's an evil .. HA HAAA) Guess what ... there has been no sightings of MRS SCRAPPY T SCRAPERSEN ever since then. She just keeps her head down ... right where it belongs.
MORAL OF STORY: If your life sucks... it's not my fault. Now my Desperate Housewife DD's are now named "the riot rack".......
When suddenly we hear a " I hope you aren't wearing that bikini" "you and your "X rated yard in our "G" rated neighborhood... I glanced over to see the scrappy lady that lives diagonally behind me that has a few charlie brown trees , trash cans , and some homemade steps they call a deck.. This woman has been terrorizing our neighborhood for 6 yrs now. Her children actually hit golf balls at peoples house, hit other with baseball bats, and coincidentally "it's everyone else's fault".
I often wonder why she is looking out her window so far to the right? Could it be that her children are grown... and she still stays at home doing nothing all day? DUH! Of course she hates the DD hot tub neighbor.
So after taking 6 yrs of bullying from Mrs. Scrappy T Scrappersens.... I promptly yelled out " I pay for this house and live in the USA! It is my god given right to wear a bikini in my back yard! Get a life and stop checkin me out! So that went on for quite awhile....
What did I do? Called the police station to ask about noise ordinance laws... the dispatcher laughed and said "Oh hon... go ahead and have a bikini party...I'm sure the police would love to come over and check that one out" So I gathered my 25 yr old Cheerleader neighbor... a blow up bounce house water slide.. tons of loud children.. and had a bikini party till midnight! OH YES! good times.......
Ha HAAAA! ( yes that's an evil .. HA HAAA) Guess what ... there has been no sightings of MRS SCRAPPY T SCRAPERSEN ever since then. She just keeps her head down ... right where it belongs.
MORAL OF STORY: If your life sucks... it's not my fault. Now my Desperate Housewife DD's are now named "the riot rack".......
A Long Story Short
Once upon a time... there was a happy little girl that grew up in a rural area that loved her rubber boots and cabbage patch kid bathing suit. Her mother took her to the mall for a corn dog and orange Julius every Wednesday. She used to love to be a daddies girl who loved to fish and cuddle with her family.
Until one day her daddy quit his job, started drinking... and that is where the happy life turned into a life of chaos and tragedy.
When you grow up in an addicts household... your world suddenly gets robbed by the unhealthy circles that you are forced to run around your addict. TVs thrown, Bruises for not doing chores right, and being denied a childhood... can soon turn a 10 yr old into a 22yr old planning her escape through all the wrong paths... then the 10 yr old turned 18.. a pregnant teenager... The 18yr old turned 19.. a single mother of a child with down syndrome. Alone and scared...(or at least I had assumed I was alone at the time) 19, 20, 21, 22 a train wreck of a person who thought "I'm so tough" I can "do it myself" ... Scrapping her way through life... just to find herself on a hamster wheel... working 20 hour days.
Then she thought... well two jobs don't seem to be working. How about a husband... he's got some problems ... but I'm sure I can fix them... Well ..... how do you think that went? 28 yrs old... almost beaten to death 5 weeks after giving birth to his child...hmmmm ... (does anyone else see a pattern here) How can a person so beautiful at time turn into such a demon? Well finally at age 31... She woke up and said..."I don't know...can't even begin to imagine" "But I don't care" and this is where the crooked roads will finally leave this beaten and bruised little girl to a Beautiful life. When she woke and realized #1) I am not alone... the man I have been looking to fill me up ... I found him.. Jesus.. he has been with me all along providing me with strength and forgiveness of my sins. #2) I have 3 babies that I will not pass the generational addiction baton to ... DONEZO.... and this is where my new life begins....
Until one day her daddy quit his job, started drinking... and that is where the happy life turned into a life of chaos and tragedy.
When you grow up in an addicts household... your world suddenly gets robbed by the unhealthy circles that you are forced to run around your addict. TVs thrown, Bruises for not doing chores right, and being denied a childhood... can soon turn a 10 yr old into a 22yr old planning her escape through all the wrong paths... then the 10 yr old turned 18.. a pregnant teenager... The 18yr old turned 19.. a single mother of a child with down syndrome. Alone and scared...(or at least I had assumed I was alone at the time) 19, 20, 21, 22 a train wreck of a person who thought "I'm so tough" I can "do it myself" ... Scrapping her way through life... just to find herself on a hamster wheel... working 20 hour days.
Then she thought... well two jobs don't seem to be working. How about a husband... he's got some problems ... but I'm sure I can fix them... Well ..... how do you think that went? 28 yrs old... almost beaten to death 5 weeks after giving birth to his child...hmmmm ... (does anyone else see a pattern here) How can a person so beautiful at time turn into such a demon? Well finally at age 31... She woke up and said..."I don't know...can't even begin to imagine" "But I don't care" and this is where the crooked roads will finally leave this beaten and bruised little girl to a Beautiful life. When she woke and realized #1) I am not alone... the man I have been looking to fill me up ... I found him.. Jesus.. he has been with me all along providing me with strength and forgiveness of my sins. #2) I have 3 babies that I will not pass the generational addiction baton to ... DONEZO.... and this is where my new life begins....
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